Between Packed Ice

A prisoner
inside my head
heart is closed

squeezed between
packed ice

receptive?

with a dozen spears
pierced through me,
deathly,
spiky to be considered
as human

sun's shine lights
but
warms not
it teases
when wind is shut off
like flashlight pointed
straight towards your sight

start off with a wrong foot?

rather with wrong body
yet underestimated expression
in a wrong life
how's that?

anger has no limits
when it pivots inside
deep
compelled to silence

passer-by's careless smile
cuts more severe than
cutting your wrist
bitter bees covet
every cavity and
expand your mind's
universes beyond everything
with bitter sweet
poison

another day
or yet
give me another
life
or
death

Ropes, Posons, Guns...

Oh, I wish I was
citizen of US of A
would have bought one
from local Walmart

and gone out under the stars
and felt the cold sting under my chin
last look at the Orion
and gone happily ever after

or I wish I'd had access to goblet
of the good old poisonous cocktail
what a wonderful way to end the days
with cigar and wine or even
cognac, unless,
it's too fine to be spoiled
with the poisonous lime

but no, not in here and now;
cannot even get a prescription on insomnia
alternatives scarce: rope is so barbarous way
and wrists, well, I might be
couple of pieces short of being man

so "Here I stand. I can do no other*
and thinking again - I'm writing again
re-married and occasionally having a ball
of my life, writing these thoughts of sorts

Bubbles

Like a rainy day
oh, what a pathetic way
to begin my poem
except that it's a rainless way
I hop a long and, no
no sway to
make the dullest of rhymes

my rainy day rains not on me
yet rainbow of mine
supercedes having at least
compared to yours
a few colors more
today

spring s under my feet
lightly I move along
I am like soap bubbles
in slight breeze colored by sun
to sparkle like a prism

lighter and fragile
I am tempted to become
if I do burst
no worries nor harm
let's just blow some  of me more

Built Of Champagne Glasses

Laws of motion
something screaming through anger
laws shattered for
a second
that splits to neutrons
in slow motion
regret, before that
pride

can't remember what the issue was
on that occasion
the thick strong heavy glass
I do

sound that hurt not ears
but insides of
who I am

like crystal champagne glasses
used for building blocks of me
in heavy artillery of
fist sized rocks

splinter and water-drops traverse and
split the second fragments of
time with
shame
all over the kitchen
after collision with the sink
my first aggression at the adult age

I hear angels cry
beside our little ones

can one love so much that
it causes pain
like Lennie adored those cute soft things

I have seen at least a peak from
the gates of heaven
as we are but one
her smile erases
facts of life
without money I have traveled around
the world a thousands of times
just letting go and falling in her breathtakingly
blue eyes
gathered stars like diamonds
on the journey back

yet there I still stand
ashamed
but too proud to admit
listening the cries

Stars Aligned

Cold, chilling me
like thorns,
still, this time a year
I am there where
my eyes hang on
hang on

do I hear them
whisper away the answers
to my thoughts

some do believe they
know all, in codes of sorts
like painted on the skin

the knowledge of what they
truly are
is rather painful to me
nothing more than our own
light and warmth

mystery solved
is beauty that fades away
like children's water-colored ones forgotten
in the rain

I open the door
and try to lock the thought outside
I care not of the reality
I move away from it's
choking embrace
shove it
bitter

the child
just died

Nightless Summer

A canoe
glides to a bay silently
lake, dead calm
few clunks on beach
of rocks
sound withering only after
drifting on surface
shore to shore

I sit on a rock
little fire beside me
as a quilt, companion
we talk along, in silence

sun still shining
midnight, nightless night

Thoughts of the Day

Cloudy haze
a misty maze
like cotton candy

the days of my thoughts
wooly

dandelion's seedcase
in the will of the winds
my thoughts
sway by drifting
waver away

an anchor I'd need
would you have it for me?
days of my life
haze

cloudy maze
a rope to it to tie
the cotton to belt
gird the cloudy haze

anchor holds well but
rope suddenly slips
cotton candy, deprived of sweet
my thoughts, my days
slip away before they end
what's left
I now do own